Just Listen

The Final Post

2010-10-13T01:32:00.000+02:00

Dear readers,

I am sorry to tell you, after some months without writing, that I am leaving this blog for good. I will miss it dearly but I fill like I want to write something different. Thank you all for listening so patiently. I will be forever grateful. If anyone is interested, my new blog is confessionsofaunigirl.blogspot.com.

Thank you.

2010-06-25T15:10:00.002+02:00

And if you and I never become an us I want to be your biggest regret.

Just a little passion

2010-06-24T17:49:00.003+02:00

And our words are almost synchronized.

Our body's aching with desire.

Because I refuse to think I am the only one who's feeling this.

Because I have never wanted someone so much.

Do you expect me to believe I was the only one to fall?

It's not supposed to feel like this

I need you

More and more each day.

Cause you make me feel alive. And I thought my butterflies were dead. But I remembered that I shouldn't settle for anything less thanks to you.

And I consume the raging fire.

And I can feel the depths of the ocean.

And I become consumed by desire.

And I swear I though of you.

And I am afraid I can only hope that while you are with her you wish it was me.

Kipa

About a Boy

2010-06-21T23:06:00.001+02:00

So...There is this boy...

And I would tell you all about him.

But then you'd fall in love with him too.

-So, do you think we'll aver be able to have a decent conversation without feeling incredibly akward?

-I don't know...I don't think so really.

-Wow. Sucks.

-Yeah, it does.

-Do you think there's something we can do about it?

-Well, you could just kiss me and get it over with.

When someone is flirting with you

please cooperate

Dear heart,

I met a boy today...

Prepare to shutter!

Kipa

The Lovely Blog of Randomness Award

2010-06-17T18:10:00.000+02:00

I am so excited because I just received an award from Abby! Thank you so much, really!

The rules of the Lovely Blog of Randomness Award are:

1. Display this award in some way on your blog.

2. Name 17 of your favourite random things.

3. Award four of your favourite random bloggers!

4. Make sure to check all of the nominee's blogs!

So...

I award:

Catherine

Sophia

Camelgirl

Sam

For being always so nice to me and having beautiful blogs :).

Okay! So now to the randomness...

1. I love to dance to my ipod whem I'm taking my dog for a walk.

2. I love to walk around the house with no shoes on.

3. I love to not be able to sleep directly so I can dream awake in bed.

4. I love when I have eye contact with a stranger and they smile at me.

5. I love singing my friends to sleep when we have a sleepover.

6. I love to watch movies with a romantic happy ending, even if they are no good.

7. I love to have the most random conversation with my friends.

8. I love knowing that, if someone heard us, they would think we're crazy.

9. I love baking carrot cakes.

10. I love showing people that carrot cakes are delicious.

11. I love to play at the beach when there are waves.

11. I love spending the whole day lying in bed and just reading.

12. I love getting tired of laughing.

13. I love to cuddle in bed when its cold.

14. I love to invent random songs with my brother.

15. I love bear hugs.

16. I love to feel the sun on my skin.

17. I love visiting new places and getting to know new cultures.

So...thats it!

Thank you all for listening, as always.

Kipa

PS. What do you think of my blog changes? Like them? Don't like them?

Don't let love happen to you

2010-06-16T21:03:00.001+02:00

This is just something I found and liked and wanted to share with you...

Go after her. Fuck, don't sit there and wait for her to call, go after her because that's what you should do. If you love someone, don't wait for them to give you a sign because it might never come. Don't let people happen to you. Don't let me happen to you, or her. She's not a fucking television show or tornado. There are people I might have loved had they gotten on the airplane or run down the street after me or called me up drunk at four in the morning because they need to tell me right now and because they cannot regret this. And I always thought I'd be the only one doing crazy things for people who would never give enough of a fuck to do it back or to act like idiots or be entirely vulnerable and honest. And making someone fall in love with you is easy. And flying 3000 miles on four days notice because you just can't just sit there and do nothing. And breathe into telephones. Its not everyone's idea of love but it is the way I can recognise it because that is what I do. Go scream it and be with her in meaningful ways because that is beautiful and that is generous and that is what loving someone is. That is raw and that is unguared, and that is all that is worth anything, really.

Kipa

About new technologies and actually using them (and summer)

2010-06-08T20:53:00.001+02:00

There is something about facebook (and all its "copies") that I don't like. It's basically telling you: Add everyone you know so that you can always keep in contact with them. But, you know what? You never do. I mean, sure, at the beginning maybe. You know, after making I don't know how many friends from all over the world at camp and adding them to your facebook and uploading the photographs and saying "I miss you"...Well, soon after that, you stop talking to them and they are just THERE, you know? It's like, yeah, I'm not talking to you, which I'm kind of sorry about but I'm really lazy, but if I want I can know what's going on in your life. It's like: Well, why don't you just ask me? It's a huge network...But I can't help feeling lonely in it. Is it just me?

That is why today I decided to send a message to all the people I would actually like to have a friendship with. But the problem is that after a few messages, this stops.

I think the problem is not seeing the other person. I mean, I can't help talking with the people at school...But in facebook it's just so easy to ignore everyone around you...

Does anyone get what I'm saying, or is it just me? Please tell me I'm not alone in this.

Changing completely of subject... I love that summer is nearly here, that in three weeks I'll be free. And so these images are colourful to celebrate this. Enjoy

=)

Kipa

About friendships, bad friendships and the ending of friendships

2010-06-04T23:24:00.001+02:00

Sometimes in your life, people disappoint you and sadly there's nothing you can do to stop them. Most times, it comes as a surprise. A very unpleasant surprise.

I am not an open person. It is hard to gain my complete trust. Few people have managed this, and I consider them pretty great. When I do open up though, I do it completely. With my heart and soul. I give it all for the people I love and I expect at least a portion of that in return.

I let you in.

I trusted you.

You were very important to me.

I wasn't to you.

You know, it it pretty standard to fight with the people you love. You can't agree in everything. You might say things you regret, but at the end everything is forgiven,right?

That's what you thought.

But boy, did you cross the line.

Kipa

Love you birthday girl!

2010-05-22T23:12:00.001+02:00

My dear friend,

You have always been there through the good and the bad. You have held me close and given me so much. I want you to know that you can always count on me. That I will always be there. And that, if you get lonely, I'll catch a plane if I have to to hold you close to me.

Happy 18th birthday. You may be an adult but you will always be a little girl to me.

I love you sister.

Kipa

Who cares?

2010-05-18T23:11:00.000+02:00

And who cares if you miss the 18th birthday of someone who loves you.
Who cares if she needs you there.
Who cares if it's the last birthday we will spend together.
Who cares if we don't see each other again in a long time.
Who cares that it is goodbye.
Who cares about these last three years.
Who cares about all the good times we had.
Who cares if she suffers.
Who cares if she cries.

Kipa

PS. Don't worry sister, I will always care.

Because I love love love quotes :)

2010-05-16T22:22:00.001+02:00

You know what?
Fuck beauty contests.
Life is one fucking beauty contest after another.
School, then college, then work...
Fuck that.
Fuck the air force academy.
If I want to fly, I'll find a way to fly.
You do what you love,
and fuck the rest.

-Little Miss. Sunshine

I guess its because i can't help but to remember everything. I mean, you see somebody and you think about all they've ever said and done. The good and the bad. It all comes back to you, and it feels so right and hurts so bad all at once.

I love you.

In a really really big pretend to like your taste in music, let you eat the last piece of cheesecake, hold a radio over my head outside your window, unfortunate way that makes me hate you love you.

So pick me, choose me, love me.

-Grey's Anatomy

I had this guy leave me a voicemail at work, so I called him at home, and then he emailed me to my BlackBerry, and so I texted to his cell, and now you just have to go around checking all these different portals just to get rejected by seven different technologies.

It's exhausting.

-He's just not that into you

I hope you like these random quotes :)

Kipa

For contemporary pseudo-intellect-neuro-hypochondriac people

2010-05-14T17:33:00.005+02:00

They say that every day we have to eat an apple for iron and a banana for potassium. Also an orange for vitamin C, half a melon to improve digestion and a cup of unsweetened green tea to prevent diabetes.

Every day you have to drink two liters of water (yes, and then pee,which takes twice the time it took to drink them).

Every day you have to take one yogurt to have 'L. Cassei Defensis' which nobody knows what the hell it is, but it seems that if you do not take a million and a half every day, you start to see people blurred.

Every day an aspirin to prevent heart attacks, plus a glass of red wine, for the same. And another white, for the nervous system. And a beer, which I do not remember for what it was. If you take everything together, even if it gives you a stroke right there, do not worry as you'll probably not notice.

Every day you have to eat fiber. A lot of fiber, until you get a sweater defecate. You should have four to six meals a day, light ones, not forgetting to chew each mouthful a hundred times. Calculatingi, only eating you loose like five hours.

Ah, after every meal you should brush your teeth, that is: after the yogurt and fiber brush your teeth, after the apple brush your teeth, after the banana brush your teeth ... and so long as you have teeth, not to mention spend floss, gum massager, mouth rinse with Plax...

You better extend the bathroom and put the stereo, because between the water, fiber and teeth, you're going to spend several hours a day in there.

We must sleep eight hours and work another eight, plus the five that we used to eat, twenty. You have three left, provided that there are no unexpected situations. According to statistics, we see three hours of television. Well, you can't anymore because every day you have to walk at least half an hour.

And you have to take care of friends because they are like a plant: you have to water them daily. And when you go on vacation too, I suppose ..

Furthermore, you should be well informed, so you have to read at least two newspapers and a magazine article, to verify the information.

Ah, you have to have sex every day, but without falling into the routine: you must be innovative, creative, renewing seduction. That takes time. And even more if it's tantric sex!

We must also make time for sweeping, washing clothes, dishes, and even more if you have a dog or any otherpet ... Children?!

So, when I count it gives me about 29 hours a day. The only possibility I can think of is to make more of these things at once, for example, you shower with cold water with yout mouth open so you can drink 2 liters of water.

As you leave the bathroom with a toothbrush in your mouth you make (Tantric) love standing to your partner, who meanwhile looks at the TV and tells you, while you sweep. "Do you have a free hand? Call your friends .. And your parents! Drink your wine (after calling your parents you will need it). Your partner can give you the yogurt with the apple while he or she eats the banana with the fibre, and tomorrow you change. And, thank God we already grew, otherwise we would have to have also a daily bottle of milk.

Uuuuf! I only have two minutes left! I'm leaving now because between the yogurt, half a melon, beer, the first liter of water and fiber and the third meal of the day, I do not know what I'm doing but I need a bathroom urgently. Ah, I will also take the toothbrush...

Hope you enjoyed this crazy email I received =).

Kipa

Because we're all broken enough to be humble

2010-05-10T19:52:00.000+02:00

I am not confident.
I know I am smart, but not in the ways that count.
I read people much better than books but I never have the words to explain my findings.
I'm only as funny as I feel,
And I do not think I'm pretty.
I sometimes walk with my head down.
My posture is terrible.
I think horrible things about people and I let my emotions get the best of me.
I'm really not as nice as I'd like to be,
Or as innocent as you'd think I am.
I am a perfectionist.
I am a contradiction to everything I want to stand for.
I'm a big dreamer with little motivation.
I am really no good at all on my own.
But I am analytical with myself.
And I don't understand how anyone could ever be cocky or proud when they are aware of all the disgusting things that they think and do but no one knows.
We're all broken enough to be humble.

(Unfortunately, not my words)

Kipa

Masochism and just plain human weirdness

2010-05-08T11:36:00.000+02:00

Tonight I slept at my friend's house and we spent the night talking. You know, five girls together...That is a lot of talking. And she told us about her and her perfect boyfriend with which she's been for three years and they love each other to pieces and they make everyone jealous because everyone wants what they have. And she had, somehow, made up a problem in her mind which made both of them really sad.

Which got me thinking.

I know, weird,huh?

Have you ever realised that people can't be too long happy? They are incapable of accepting that there is nothing wrong. It almost seems as if they enjoy the sufferment that comes with the problems. Like they crave it. Pure masochism, if you ask me. But it seems to be true, at least from my perspective. We create these ridiculous problems in our head which don't exist. And we cry, and we tell our girlfriends, and we eat chocolate...All for nothing, because it is not there.

It's like we sabotage our lifes.

And really, if we could get rid of all our internal dramas, we would be so much happier. Maybe it's because we take life to seriously, I don't know.

Or maybe, we just get bored of doing always the same thing.

However, even when you know this, it's stillhard to tell your mind to just stop it already.

Kipa

A long time

2010-05-06T19:40:00.000+02:00

Dear readers,

I am so sorry! I have been missing for a long time, haven't I? It is so sad because I love writing on my blog, and reading your comments and blogs, and now I will never be able to catch up with everything. However, I am back, and I will continue reading. And I will continue writing.

Hopefully you will continue listening :)

I don't know why I left this wonderful world. I suppose I just have been lazy lately. You know when you don't want to do anything at all? Well, yes, that was me.

However, it is time to wake up, especially as my exams are getting closer and closer!

This is my last year at school and I can't stop thinking about how I'm not going to see so many people again. People I've fought with, people I've disliked, yes, but people I've grown up with after all.

Maybe I'm too nostalgic but I already miss it and the year isn't over yet.

But what is going to be the hardest is saying goodbye to two of my girls, whom I love to pieces. The fantastic four will be broken and yes, we'll talk and see each other, but it will never be the same.

Yes, as Europe said, it's the final countdown.

And I can't help but shiver at the thought of loosing my small, imperfect world.

After all, it's been a long time.

Kipa

In shock

2010-03-06T17:43:00.000+01:00

It's not like I didn't know that this day would come. It's not like I hadn't thought about it. And, really, I have no right to be mad. I was the one who broke it off, the one who had moved on. I should want you to move on too right?

And I do, don't get me wrong. I do. I want you to be happy because I still care about you. How could I not? I can't just forget two whole years that easily. It's not like I want to either. I still want you in my life.

When you told me you would wait for me I was scared. Scared that you wouldn't be able to move on. But now I'm just furious at you for making this so akward for me.

You were always an exception. Always the good guy. The guy who wanted something more. You made me feel special. You had chosen me out of all the other girls.

And suddenly you decide to look at a random girl whom you don't know or care about and it's just that simple for you. That easy. She's not special...Therefore why should I think that I am?

I know we used to talk about how much time was enough to start looking forward, start looking for someone else. And I know I said a month would be enough. But what did you expect? I knew it would not be enough but, how could I tell you?

And then you go and find a girl to hook up with the day we did one month apart. Real classy.

I know you didn't want to hurt me and I don't feel this way because I want you back. No, that is not it. I am just so confused. You've still hurt me a lot, even though you swear you are the one hurting because of the break up.

Excuse me for not understanding how, if that's true, you could go off with another girl that easily.

I suppose that you've wounded my ego real badly. I know it may not be fair, but you should have thought about me. I have done nothing but think about ways not to hurt you this past month, but don't worry, that is going to stop.

It may not be fair, but you already knew that.

Eurotrip!

2010-02-09T19:30:00.000+01:00

So, my three best friends and I decided a long time ago to say goodbye and part our seperate ways with a trip through Europe. We've always been together at school, but that will change in college as each of us will go different places.

HOWEVER, that is so not the point.

The point is we are starting to organise it and I had the idea of asking you if you knew of any place in the following cities which we should not miss:

1.Paris
2.Bruges
3.Amsterdam
4.Berlin
5.Prague
6.Viena
7.Budapest
8.Florence
9.Venice

It could be tourist places or just nice hidden spots.

Thank you to everyone =)

Tired

2010-02-03T20:26:00.001+01:00

And she wishes she could escape all this. Go back in time. Or forward. It really doesn't matter. The only thing she cares about is getting rid of this feeling of not being able to decide how her life is going to turn out.

She used to think she was worth it. She used to think she was unstoppable. She used to think that she'd get what she always wanted.

But boy was she wrong.

She's been crushed to pieces which are so small she doesn't even recognise them anymore. How can she trust herself if no one else does? She has no confidence. She has nothing to make her feel better.

Every bad decision she ever made is catching up to her. She has tried to run, but she's tired. The huge ball is catching up and she's going to be hit by it, but it doesn't matter anymore. She can't fight anymore.

She's just so tired.

Kipa

To the girl who will replace me...

2010-01-08T21:40:00.000+01:00

There are just a couple of things that I thought I should tell you. I learned these while I was the object of your guy's affection. First of all, don't be frightened if he smothers much more love on you than you had expected. Don't be surprised if he treats you much better than any other guy you have ever met. And let it not scare you that he will actually listen carefully to every word you say, even when you're just speaking quietly.

Also, you should know that he remembers everything you will say. He's hurt easily, especially by the painful words a careless girl will say. If you do hurt him, then you'll have to pay the price of seeing the broken look in his passionate and deep brown eyes, and watch the light in them fade. But if this happens, all is not lost- a kiss and an "I love you" can heal anything.

And please, don’t say I love you to him, unless you really mean it, nothing hurts him more then someone who really doesn’t care. Sometimes, he won't tell you what he is feeling, but... just know that he is protecting you and if you ever feel that something isn't right, just look into his beautiful brown eyes and you will be able to see into him. You can see everything he is feeling, everything he is thinking, everything that isn't right with him...

He won't ever try to hurt you, because he just isn't that way, so please don't hurt him because if you do, I don't think I could ever forgive you. I don't think there could ever be a worse feeling in the world than knowing that you have the boy that I love and knowing that you hurt him. You should know that if you two ever get into a fight, just make sure you pick only the ones worth fighting for...

He will always keep his temper and will never curse at you or call you names, despite the anger he may be feeling. Though he may act mature, most of the time, once he's given you his heart, he will begin to open up to you and his silliness will make your heart smile, in a way that words can not explain. Don't hold a tight grip on him, let him go and be part of the world and experience new things. You will find that he is a busy guy and that he is so very independent. Sometimes, he will need his space, but don't worry...

He'll always make time for you and even when you're not around, you'll be in his thoughts. You will find that he isn't like any other guy that you have met, so please don't take him for granted. When it comes to his money, don't take advantage of that, He will be so unselfish with it, because that is the way he is. Remember, He likes blue better than green, blonds better than brunettes, Republicans better than Democrats, Soft pretzels win over Steak, Kacki over denim, Leather over cloth, and even though he won't admit it, he really does like to be surprised. He is less tough than he may appear, you just have to take the time and let him bring down his guard...

He is so sweet and so amazing and know that if you ever leave him, you will break his heart apart, the same way that my heart breaks apart, as I sit here writing this to you. Don't ever try to pull him away from his dreams. He is going to be an extremely successful attorney and won't ever let you give up on your dreams, either. He will encourage you to become everything you can be and will never, ever let you down. He likes it when you kiss his ear and nothing is better than hugging each other. Just watch how your hand will fit perfectly into his and when it does, it seems as if nothing in the world could hurt you, because he is there. And when he puts his arms around you and tells you that you are the girl he loves, you will know, there isn't any guy in the world better than him...

Don't ever let him go. You will regret doing so, for the rest of time... I promise, you will.

-{Sorry for not writing in forever, my world is kind of hectic right now. This text is not mine, and I really don't know where it is from, but I really like it, and I hope all of you do too =) }-

Kipa

Merry (late) Christmas and Happy (early) New Year!

2009-12-30T15:20:00.000+01:00

Hello everyone! I'm sorry for being such a bad blogger lately. Between the holidays, the studying, the family, the travelling... Well I haven't had much time. The sad thing is that this won't stop until 1st February, when I'll have my last and final exam. Meanwhile, I hope you can forgive me for not writing or reading as much as I would want to.

I spent my Christmas in Barcelona, as every year, because all my dad's family lives there.

Well, saying I went to Barcelona is not quite right. I went to a small (really small) town about half an hour away from Barcelona city where there is nothing to do and it is all very rural.

We always spend these days the same way:eating.

However,this year we did something different and unexpected and it was great.

On Christmas Eve, at 2am, when everyone was leaving (we were 21 at my grandparents house this year I think), my cousin had the brilliant idea of going clubbing.

Somehow, I got involved in all this and so my uncle (40), my cousin (25), my other cousin (33) and her girlfriend (37) and me(17)...We went partying together.

Surreal much?

And so we went to this really weird club in the small town next to ours.

I thought I wouldn't get in! Here in Madrid, it is quite hard to get into a club if you are not 18, and I am not 18.(unless you have a false ID, but I am a goody-two-shoes/idiot so I don't have one). But when we got there, the guy didn't even look at my face.

So my first time clubbing was with my (much older) family.

Very strange.

But the story doesn't end here. Imagine my amazement when, between all this, I see this really famous young actor in front of me in the queu!

And imagine my disappointment when I see him up front. Why does television lie to us? It is not fair.

So here I leave you with two photographs of him in television so you can judge. His name in Mario Casas and he curiously lives in the town next to my grandparents'.

Thanks for listening, as always,

Kipa

PS. Real difference

Where you really there?

2009-12-22T11:56:00.000+01:00

Yesterday I woke up, and rubbed my eyes really hard because I couldn't believe what I was seeing through the window.

Snow

Snow everywhere. It was all white and beautiful and magical.

Let me explain myself: As I said on my last post, it never snows here in Madrid. With a little luck it snows in February or March one day. So seeing snow in December was like a gift. Finally a white christmas!

But later it rained and rained and rained...

And this morning, when I looked out from the window, the snow had disappeared completely.

It was like it was never there.

Kipa

Winter and all that..

2009-12-12T01:16:00.000+01:00

So, it's been obvious for a few weeks, at least here, that winter has come. Like wow.

And so my nose is always cold, and so are my hands and my feet.

I have to wear so many layers which make me feel like an onion, which is not good.

The days are so short and it is always dark and it makes me think that it is later than it really is.

My exams-my very important exams- are coming up, so I am quite stressed out.

And to top it all, it never snows here, so the cold is just useless and could just leave us for good.

And it just makes me want to crawl in bed and sleep until spring comes.

But

I only have one more week left of school and then holidays! Christmas! And that is really the only thing I look forward to at this time of year.

However, I do try to be optimistic and leave those horrible things out of my mind.

Which usually works.

Christmas is just that cool.

Kipa

Dear Boy

2009-12-07T14:06:00.001+01:00

Dear Boy,

Thank you for loving me for me, and for not hoping for someone who is thinner or prettier. Thank you for not comparing me to girls who have brighter smiles.

Thank you for making me laugh, taking care of me when I get sick, and being trustworthy.Thank you for remembering that I pefer orchids to roses, and that my favourite colour is not blue, but turquoise.

Thank you for knowing that I was too shy to kiss you first and for not being afraid of kissing me, for knowing I wouldn't slap you or push you away. Your kisses were perfect. Thank you for not stressing about where to take me; knowing that what is important is that I'll be with you.

If I cry, please know it's not because of you, just hold me close and I'll heal quickly. And if it's because of you, I'll heal just the same. And if we decide to break up, please understand that I might be bitter, but I'd like to be your friend if you'll let me. I promise to remember that you have feelings too.

Please tell me if anything I do bothers you, or if something just doesn't sit right. And thank you for always being honest with me.

When i have a bad day, thank you for showering me with confidence and smiles.

I hope that you don't think I ask too much of you. I hope you understand that I am still scared. I wish I could tell you if we'll be in love forever.

Meanwhile, I promise to continue doing my best to be kind and love you dearly for all that you are, without expecting too much of you.

Yours always,

Me

Kipa

Change

2009-12-05T21:45:00.002+01:00

{So sorry for not posting in a while. Forgive me? Please?}

Hmm...I think I have a problem. You might think I'm kidding but it actually may be serious. I think I malfunction. No,it's not that. What is it then?

Oh,I know! I am not adapted to my environment. That sounds like biology, which I haven't done in a while, but it also sounds quite right.

Why?

Well, because, I absolutely abhor change. I hate it. I just can't take it. I know it is supposed to be good but it scares me to death. Not knowing what that change will bring me, and what it won't bring me.

Some time ago, I read this quote from Everwood(such a good show, it's a shame it ended) about this and I loved it. I suppose it's because I sooo feel this way. Maybe you do too? So here I leave it with you. I hope you like it:

The more things change, the more they stay the same. I'm not sure who the first person was who said that. Probably Shakespeare. Or maybe Sting. But at the moment, it's the sentence that best explains my tragic flaw, my inability to change. I don't think I'm alone in this. The more I get to know other people, the more I realize it's kind of everyone's flaw. Staying exactly the same for as long as possible, standing perfectly still... It feels safer somehow. And if you are suffering, at least the pain is familiar. Because if you took that leap of faith, went outside the box, did something unexpected... Who knows what other pain might be out there, waiting for you. Chances are it could be even worse. So you maintain the status quo. Choose the road already traveled and it doesn't seem that bad. Not as far as flaws go. You're not a drug addict. You're not killing anyone... Except maybe yourself a little. When we finally do change, I don't think it happens like an earthquake or an explosion, where all of a sudden we're like this different person. I think it's smaller than that. The kind of thing most people wouldn't even notice unless they looked at us really close. Which, thank God, they never do. But you notice it. Inside you that change feels like a world of difference. And you hope this is it. This is the person you get to be forever... that you'll never have to change again.

Kipa

Happy Birthday!

2009-11-29T17:42:00.000+01:00

Today is my wonderful friend's 18th birthday!

Now she can drive...

Party...

And go to jail!

We had a lot of fun celebrating on Friday=).

Excuse my little inspiration.

Thanks for listening, as always!

Kipa

You won't believe what happened to me

2009-11-24T22:16:00.001+01:00

Today, such a bizarre thing happened to me that I just had to write it down. I am still in shock.

This afternoon, after my singing class, I was waiting at the bus stop for my bus(duh), listening to my ipod. Nothing unusual. My bags where placed by my side. My school bag first and my lunch bag further away.

I was looking to the right, minding my own business, and the next thing I see is a hand grabbing my lunch bag and running away with it.

Yep, they stole my lunch bag.

They stole my lunch bag.

Unbelievable.

The point is, he just started running and I could see him, and he was holding his trousers because they were falling off and he couldn't be much older than me and it was all just so surreal.

It's like, you moron, you just got yourself two tupperwares, a fork and a knife. Oh, and a spoon. And some napkins. All dirty. Enjoy.

I could see him running away with it, up the street, and I could only stare with my mouth open, thinking:

Someone just stole my lunch bag. Why would somebody steal my lunch bag?

It seriously looked like a bad joke or something.

Come on, if you're going to rob someone, at least do it well. Rob someone who seems to have something, not a school girl with a school bag and a lunch bag.

Douchebag.

What do you think?

Kipa

It's the end of the world...

2009-11-23T23:16:00.000+01:00

...What to do before?

Here are a few random things I would want to do before the apocalypse:

1. Learn to surf.

2. Watch all the musicals in Broadway.

3. Have a huge end of the world party.

4. Fly in balloon.

5. Travel everywhere. I want to see it all.

6. Read the classics.

7.Walk barefoot.

8.Fly a kite.

9. Party the whole night in my beautiful city Madrid.

10. Eat one of these xD.

11. Own a polaroid and take many random pictures with it and stick them to my wall.

12. Have my happy ending.

13. Learn to sew and make my own clothes.

14. Kiss a stranger.

But above all...

Kipa

Can't help it

2009-11-22T14:23:00.001+01:00

This Friday I went to see New Moon with my friends(original version, which is, I discovered on Saturday, much better than translated to Spanish). Before anyone says anything: yes, I am a twilight fan and yes, I know it is corny,cliche and whatelse but, hey, I am a sucker for romance, and for amazingly perfect male fictional characters. And no, I can't help it.

The first film was a huge disappointment but this one was better. I think. Maybe I have to see it more to judge...Hmm...

Well,my point is, it is better partly for the fact that Robert Pattinson doesn't appear so much in the movie. It is kind of sad that I spent all the time looking for Edward when I was reading the book and now I don't want to see him. But,come on! He's such a horrible actor! It gives me the chills! And he's not even handsome, so please, please can somebody tell me why they had to choose him?

Because I personally find very confusing that in the books I can't stop thinking that Bella is an idiot for even thinking of Jacob and that Jacob should just die. But in the movie how can I help but think: Forget about that horrible vampire and just kiss the droolingly hot werewolf already! And yes, Robert, you should have stayed with your shirt on cause, let me tell you, you wish you were half as hot as Taylor, and if he had to gain 30kg of muscle to stay in the movies, then you should too(excuse the hormones).

Ahh,I feel much better now =)

So yes, remember not to judge ;)

Kipa

PD. The part that they missed that I missed the most:

Yey!

2009-11-17T21:28:00.001+01:00

Oh my God! I am so happy right now I could dieeeeee. Guess what?

I just received an email from UCL, my first choice university!!!!!

Okay, it is not such a big deal I suppose because with architecture (what I want to study), if they like you they send you a task, and if they like you after that still, they ask for interview, and if you've still managed to continue being liked by them...THEN they offer you a place.

But they like me a little bit because the sent me the task! =D

Now I have a lot of work, but I am still so excited! I am one step closer tu UCL!

Kipa

Butter Fingers

2009-11-16T20:44:00.001+01:00

Do you ever have the feeling that things are slipping through your fingers? And you try desperately to hold on, but it just seems impossible.

If I want to get together with my friends (school and outside) together, it's always me who has to organize it. It's not like I'm a great organizer. Heck, I'm a lousy organizer! I get stressed, anxious, nervous...

I am not good at it.

The sad part is it's always me who has to organize it because, if not, no one bothers. They all say: 'You do it, you are better than me at that.' But how could that be true if they haven't even tried?

The thing is, I want to tell them I won't do it again, that I am tired of it, that it looks as if I'm the only one that cares for our friendship.

But I can't. I can't because I'm scared that they won't do anything. That they'll slip through my fingers, that what I've worked for all this time will just break so easily. That I'll get to see that I was really the only one who cared.

Kipa

My First Award

2009-11-11T22:07:00.002+01:00

First of all I would like to thank the amazing Em-illi for this award which I am very excited about as it is my first one =).

So,basically I have to tell you 10 things about myself...

1. I was born purple. Literally. The doctors had to help me breathe. I couldn't do it on my own. Like most things.

2. My best friend when I was in playschool bullied me non-stop. She is still one of my closest friends. Fortunately, the bullying stopped a long while ago =P.

3. I am thrilled and terrified at the same time of next year. I want to start college so badly, but I know that I am going to miss my friends sooooo much. They are everything to me.

4. I am scared that I won't be accepted into any of the UK universities and that I will have to stay in Madrid instead. I really am excited about doing the college experience away from home.

5. I am in love with my city. It is my true love.

6. I am, weirdly enough, scared of alcohol.

7. I say outloud what I'm writing. All the time.

8. I've never gone through the phace were I hated my parents, life, rules... normal teenage things to hate. I've always felt like a weirdo for being such a content teenager.

9. People who are constantly depressed and complaining about life annoy me. I believe that life is a gift and that I am very lucky, and anyone who doesn't see it that way is an ungrateful person.

10. I believe that I have an invisibility cloak attached to me, as no one ever sees me. The strange thing is that, most times, I see this as something positive.

I would like to pass this award to:

Sophia from Still Winter After All...

Catherine from a life in seven billion.

"In the light of the Moon"

Laura Marie from a diary of little things & curiosities

Liss from Daydream Lily Blog

Natalie from Toast and Cereal

Erimentha from ~The Little Blog of Happiness~

Sadly, I am still new so I don't know that many more blogs!

Thank you fot listening, as always.

Kipa

To my dearest friends

2009-11-09T22:12:00.005+01:00

~Somewhere between the procrastination
...And the homework
...And the incessant forwards
...And the friendships
...And the nasty cafeteria food
...And the calls to each other complaining about crushes

~Somewhere between the phone calls to old friends
...And the "I miss you's"
...And the "I love you's"
...And the "What are we doing tonight's"
...And somewhere between all of the changing & growing..

~Somewhere between the classes
...And the skipping classes
...And the studying for tests
...And the pretending to study for tests
...And the downright not studying for tests...

~I forgot.

...I forgot what high school is all about.
...I forgot what it meant to cry
...I forgot that pretending to be happy doesn't make you happy.
...And that pretending to be smart doesn't make you smart.
...I forgot that you can't just forget the past in fear of the future.
...I forgot that you can't control falling in love
...And that you can't make yourself fall in love.

~I learned that I can love.

...I learned that it's okay to mess up
...And it's okay to ask for help
...And it's okay to feel like crap.
...I learned its okay to complain and whine to all your friends for a whole day.
...I learned that sometimes the things you want most you just can't have.
...I learned that the greatest thing about high school isnt the parties or the drinking or the hook-ups...
...It's the friendships which means taking chances.
...I learned that sometimes the things we want to forget are the things which we most need to talk about.
...I learned that letters from friends are the most important thing
...And that sending cards to your friends makes YOU feel better.

~But, basically, I just learned that my friends
...Both old and new
...Are the most important people to me in the world
...And without them, I wouldn't be who I am today

So I just wanted to tell you that...

xD

Kipa

-{Text from www.holliesquotes.com}-

I might not choose you

2009-11-07T15:19:00.000+01:00

How dare you?
How dare you do this to me, after all we've been through?
How dare you make me suffer this way? Who do you think you are?
How dare you make me feel this lonely and pathetic?
How dare you make me cry.

I don't deserve this.
I don't deserve this and you know it.

What am I supposed to do now? Just get over it?
I can't. And it's your fault.

And now you've made me choose.
And who knows...

I might not choose you.

And the World Spins Madly On...

2009-11-05T20:18:00.004+01:00

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
I thought of you and where you'd gone
and let the world spin madly on

Everything that I said I'd do
Like make the world brand new
And take the time for you
I just got lost and slept right through the dawn
And the world spins madly on

I let the day go by
I always say goodbye
I watch the stars from my window sill
The whole world is moving and I'm standing still

Woke up and wished that I was dead
With an aching in my head
I lay motionless in bed
The night is here and the day is gone
And the world spins madly on

I thought of you and where you'd gone
And the world spins madly on.

-{The Weepies}-

I am not going to let the world pass me by.
I am not going to live through life without doing anything. Unnoticed.
I am going to be bold.
I am going to be strong.
I am going to leave my mark. Whatever it takes.

I refuse to let the world spin madly on.

Kipa

What Could've Been

2009-10-29T02:05:00.002+01:00

I am one of those dreamers. You know, one of those persons who live in fantasy world, imagining great adventures and breath-taking romances. I've had a million lifes in my world. A million different outcomes.

All with a happy ending.

All in my head.

That is why I envy the people who are down to earth. They want something and they get it.

Just.

Like.

That.

They are not afraid of failure, of having their bubble burst, their dreams crashed.

After all, we only have one shot at life. One shot at being happy. I don't want to waste it. I'm tired of thinking of what could've been.

I'm ready for my life to start.

Keith

2009-10-26T23:28:00.000+01:00

I have just finished watching the movie Keith for the, what? I don't know, fifth time? I don´t know what's with me and this movie, but it is just so special for me.

When people ask me what this movie is about and I tell them: ´Well, its about this perfetc girl...and this geeky guy..` I can't help but think, every time, that I'm letting the movie down. Because this movie is so much more, or at least that is how i see it. But you just have to watch it because if more is revealed, then the film will be spoilt for you.

For me- and this is all my humble opinion- this movie manages to get what could be considered even a cliché setting (my summary) and give it a twist of 360 degrees, creating something completely original and refreshing.

When i first saw this movie I couldn't believe my eyes when Jesse McCartney disappeared from my sight and became this amazingly raw person that Keith is. You spend most of the film hoping for him not to be a psycho because, even though he seems crazy, you can't help but love him.

I never thought that I would write about a film in my blog, but it just seemed right. For me, this film is simple, yes, but at the same time so deep. Every single detail matters for the bigger picture and, at the end, it is even slightly depressing.

It's hard talking about it.

If you are bored and have nothing to do, watch it. If you already have, tell me what you think. Maybe you think I'm reading too much into it. Maybe you hated it.

But maybe, just maybe, this movie is so special for you as it is for me.

Kipa

Do you care?

2009-10-12T22:57:00.000+02:00

There are some people who are constantly telling me that I ask for too much. That I should relax. That I should call more people "friend" and less people "aquaintance". That I should trust more easily.

And maybe they are right. Maybe I've built my walls too high. So high that only the ones who persevere manage to get through. But why would I let someone in who hasn't showed me anything? So they can hurt me again? No thank you, that happened before, and I know better than to repeat my mistakes.

I suppose that what people have done to me has shaped me in a way that I don't really like. And I would very much prefer if they wouldn't have had an impact on my life, just for my own pride, but I can't help it.

This is who I am now. Someone who's scared of letting other people in.

However,when I do let people in, I give them all I have, all my love. I know I can do good in other people's lifes. The only problem is that no one has the time or will to find out who I really am, behind the mask. If they only knew...But no one cares.

Do you?

Kipa

Just Breathe

2009-10-04T19:33:00.002+02:00

My hands were cold. They always get cold when I'm nervous. My friends were chatting all around me but I couldn't concentrate on their words. My mind was elsewhere, on what was going to happen in just a few minutes...

Finally, my father called me to the stage. I stood up slowly. My legs were shaking and it would've been very embarassing if I stumbled or fell with all those pairs of eyes looking my way. I made it to the stage without any major trouble. The hardest part was climbing on top, with my heels, trying not to step on any of the cables. But by some miracle, I managed alright.

Once on top, my eyes caught sight of the enormous amount of people standing there, looking my way. So many people to impress. My breath had sped up, just like the rythm of my heart. My legs were still shaking and I prayed to God that no one would take notice of this.

The first chords started.

I closed my eyes and said to myself:

Just breathe

Kipa

Something

2009-09-24T19:54:00.000+02:00

I wanted to write something. I've always wanted to write something, but it's difficult for that something to matter. It will matter to me, obviously, but I do hope to reach at least some of you.

Things that matter...

Part of the beauty of everyone being different is that everyone has a million of different priorities. Some find money is at the top. The romantics like me will think of love when they first read this. The optimists will think of happiness and the philosophers of meaning.

Everyone, very logically, thinks that what matters to them is what should matter to everyone, what is really important. Because, at the end of the day, we just want to matter to someone. We want other people to see the world from our point of view. Even if its just one person. Maybe I'm lying, maybe you're thinking that I don't know what I'm talking about. But something tells me, deep inside, that I'm not.

That is why, after a lot of thinking on the subject of my first publication (of which I am extremely excited), trying to find a global theme that will mean something to many, I realised that everyone feels the need to be accepted.

But, why is it so important to us to feel accepted in society? Why does that make us do things that we wouldn't otherwise? Are we really so afraid of ending up alone? Of being a social paraia? But isn't it obvious that everyone is different and that none of us fit in perfectly?

I am only one more. That is why, I hope this first post stirred something inside of you and makes you come back. I, too, want to matter.

Thank you,

Kipa